The roadblocks of trust

Last week on the blog we talked about how trusting ourselves allows us to trust others. 

In recognizing and honoring how we already trust ourselves and our own “gut instincts” in life, we can start to believe in and trust our intuition and decisions regarding other people.

However, I have also come to the realization that despite everyone having the gift of gut instinct and intuition, we question ourselves and often do not listen.  We ignore our own opinions and we look to others for validation instead.   

Unfortunately, this is so common that I see it all of the time.  Heck, I’ve doubted my own intuition plenty of times, but I am getting better at listening to myself every day.

As I have said before, awareness is the first step to change. 

Through my research into this topic, I have come up with a list of “road blocks” that prevent us from listening to our gut instincts. I believe that through our awareness of the “road blocks,” we can then break the cycle of not listening to our intuition.  This can allow us to catch the whispers rather than waiting until the thunder bolt of a situation hits us.

Road blocks – Why we don’t listen to our intuition

In today’s society, we have been conditioned to not trust ourselves.  Society teaches us from a young age that other people know what’s best for us, and that somehow they have the answers that we can’t seem to find.  Parents and teachers are always well meaning, however I think we get conditioned to ask for approval on our ideas and thoughts and seek validation that we are moving in the right direction. 

I’ve been in this spot many times.  It even still happens today.  I feel confused or lost, and I will ask someone for their opinion. While it’s nice to have approval and validation (it feels good!), I think it leads us to question and not trust ourselves when we are always seeking answers outside of ourselves.

Everyone has an opinion.  The world is loud and bold with what it says about you and your life, and these opinions can vary drastically.  If we are constantly seeking input from others, it can create further confusion and distrust in your own outlook.

Remember that if your intuition is guiding you towards something that might be considered unconventional, that does not mean it is wrong or not good.  It is just different and can be hard for those around you to understand or accept.

Perhaps you have an artistic career path or are called in a different direction from what your parents “think” you should do in life.  They might not agree with your ideas and therefore not support it. This can makes us question our own judgement. 

Society also tends to reward “people pleasers” and those who are “nice”, which can put the emphasis on others’ opinions rather than our own.  If you are trying to people please and make everyone else in your world happy, but not yourself, whose path are you on?  Whose life are you actually living?  Yours?  Or someone else’s version of what yours should be? 

In general, listening to our feelings and intuition is viewed as somewhat irrational.  The rational mind is honored in society over more “emotional” viewpoints.  Albert Einstein illustrated this societal dynamic:

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift & the rational mind is a faithful servant.  We have created a society that honors the servant & has forgotten the gift.”

Personally, I love that this quote comes from a man that is regarded for his intellect.

Another common reason we don’t always trust ourselves is that we can’t explain or don’t understand why our intuition is telling us something.  It feels silly to say, “I don’t know, I just feel this is a good idea, bad idea, etc.”  So, we choose not to listen and ignore what we can’t readily explain or rationalize rather than heed our own internal advice.

I have heard too many stories from women who wish they listened to their intuition and paused to pay attention, rather than ignore it.

Specifically related to relationships, here are few common “roadblocks”:

If you are feeling any of these “roadblocks” when your intuition presents itself, know that these are normal, but that they don’t have to prevent you from listening to your intuition. Once we can recognize them for what they are and set them aside, I believe we can more easily get in touch with our intuition and gut instincts.

Check in next week to learn simple ways to increase and trust your own intuition more often.

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