Last week on the blog, I shared my experience of exponential personal growth in just one years time and how I became a different person, both physically and mentally.
For me these changes happened so fast, that it was hard to release the old Christina. Probably, for another year I wobbled in the old and the new. I held onto the comfortableness of the old, and I only showed the new me some of the time.
Let me explain. While I was beyond excited about my transformation, I was also scared of the world’s reactions. I wasn’t sure of myself yet, living as the new true me.
Frankly, living the old way was comfortable. It is what I was used to…..like wearing a comfy old sweater.
So when the fear would creep in, I would retreat. I would play it safe and not take action. Or, I would take action but only put one foot over the fence, not both. So, I stayed stuck– I wasn’t fully living my new true self.
In the Spring 2018, I decided I wanted to start my own business. I discovered that I was passionate about writing, and knew inside that I wanted to help other women navigate this twisting road of separation/ divorce and help them find and love themselves again.
There is, of course, an element of risk in starting your own business and sharing your story, but I know inside that it is right for me. It takes vulnerability and courage to share your story. I believe that my story, experiences, and wisdom can help others.
My parents have been extremely supportive, but everyone wants to know “how” you are going to make this work. I know that there is possibility and potential for whatever I want to do in life, but of course I don’t know all the “how’s” of everything at this time.
This can create apprehension from those that care about you, which in turn can cause you to be fearful. While this can be frustrating at times, knowing that it is normal helps you get through the questioning. I think people just want you to be safe and secure, and don’t get me wrong, I want that as well. But I need to create that security on my own terms, for myself.
I’m not suggesting you jump blindly into something you feel called to do, however having unwavering faith in yourself and your vision is crucial for success. At the same time, it is ok to not know all of the answers right away. That is part of the process.
Not everyone is going to be your cheerleader and people will have questions and opinions, even if it isn’t their place.
Guess what? This is okay! Not everyone out there has to be your supporter.
I have had numerous people suggest that I get back into sales, which I must say is tempting. A consistent pay with benefits would be great, right?
I think most people who share their concerns or provide suggestions mean well. And sometimes, they can present a valid point that may not of been on your radar. While the questioning or naysaying may be frustrating at times, take note when it might be something helpful to your situation.
I can honestly say, I appreciate the questions and concerns. In a way it shows that you are surrounded by love and support.
However, it is equally important to go with your heart, dream big, and live life on your terms.
I now prescribe to my mentors motto, “I have more fear of regret than I do of failure.”
Finally, I had to come to the realization that if I am living my truth and just being me, then I am living on purpose and doing what is right for my family and myself, regardless of what anyone else thinks about it.
Authentically being myself and living my truth also allows me to break through any fears.
This shift and emergence of the true Christina really happened in January 2019. This might seem silly to some, but I am participating in a monthly “soul word” course where we focus on a word that we want to embody for the entire year.
I of course picked the word “truth.”
It wasn’t just a random pick. There was reflection, journaling, and narrowing down to the one word that would allow for everything else that we wanted to feel that year.
Once I started living the word “truth” I stopped holding back. I put both feet over the fence and emerged empowered.
A month later, I launched my blog and haven’t stopped being me.
I’m not saying that I never get triggered, make mistakes, or want to curl up and hide. I do sometimes, and that’s okay. However, living your truth allows you to be aware of the experience, reflect on it, and course-correct much faster. It’s an experience that helps you fine tune how you want to live.
Believing in your self is the biggest key to success.
If fear of what others think is something you deal with, know this:
- Loved ones will question, share opinions, but it is out of love for you. This is normal.
- Not everyone is going to be your cheerleader. That’s ok.
- Your own belief in yourself is what counts.
As Jack Cranfield says, “Everything is on the other side of fear.”
What has helped you overcome your fears? Let me know in the comments below.