Last week, we talked about transformation and I shared the story about the very beginning of my own personal transformation, thanks in part to my very first phone call with my life coach, Sally. Now, let’s fast forward to October 2017, when I had my first in-person session with Sally.
Not sure what to expect, I arrived at Sally’s studio one morning after dropping my children off at school.
Getting out of my car, I found a quaint cluster of shops in old barn-like buildings. Following the signs to her studio, I was greeted with little signs and stones all with messages. There was a metal sign that said “relax” and a rock that said “harmony.” These all set the tone and put me at ease entering the studio.
I remember going inside, sitting down on the white settee and observing my surroundings. Everything was tranquil.
Sitting there, I could breathe and relax. Something I had not done in a long time.
When I met Sally, I knew immediately that I was in the right place. Her warm and friendly, peaceful spirit put me at ease.
I was still very scared and lost. I was scared of the unknown. I didn’t know how long the divorce would take or what other traumatic events would arise.
I talked and shared my story with Sally. I shared the crazy events and I shared my feelings. I broke down and cried. I wanted help and I needed help.
As Sally said in our initial phone conversation, “this journey is not as tough with support.”
Support is exactly what Sally provided for me. This came in many forms: mental, emotional, & practical advice. She listened to me, and helped me see what I wasn’t seeing for myself. She acted as a mirror.
On a practical level, I left that first session with a homework assignment to put my “divorce binder” together.
She told me I needed to treat the divorce matters like a business, be organized about it, and know exactly what was going on.
In the binder we created many sections: legal fees, custody, child support, proof/documentation (emails, notes about events), my expenses, my support team, divorce documents, asset information.
This practicality did prove helpful to me on several occasions. I was able to easily queue up the listing of late support payments, and see when something was not aligned.
Being aware and organized has prevented little things from slipping through the cracks more than once.
On a personal level, Sally has been my rock and is now my friend. Out of all the wonderful things Sally has guided me through, the one that I am the most appreciative of is her guidance in helping me find myself. As a life coach, she gives you the nudges and asks the right questions so that you can pull yourself to the surface and emerge. Our work together helped me find the woman who was lost and trapped inside—the one who was hiding.
I did the work, but she guided me.
As a stay-at-home mom, I was used to focusing on everyone else but myself.
I was not one of my priorities.
Here’s an example. When my daughter was about 3 years old I was trying to live up to my own stay-at-home mom expectations, so I made a weekly chore chart. It had space to write in the meals I had planned for the week, as well as the chores I needed to accomplish. I got it laminated so I could use a dry erase marker and check it all off once I completed my duties. I had also included a small box entitled “self care.” However, the only items in the box were a weekly face mask and to file my nails. I remember my spunky neighbor Caroline noticing the chart on my kitchen counter and commented how she thought my self-care box was quite weak and off balance.
Ironically, at the time, I thought this was plenty. Caring for my mind, body, and soul was not on my radar. Fortunately, I now recognize the importance of self care and tapping into my own desires in life!
At each session, Sally would give me an “Intention” worksheet. I would pick an intention for the week, and then see how I could fulfill it in the various aspects of my life. For example, one week my goal was to gain clarity.
It was broken down into four categories: Career, Relationships, Well-being, and Creativity/dreams. I would write down in each category a few items that I could take action on to get me closer to my desired intention.
They were never complicated to-dos. They were things such as calling a friend, organizing my bedroom, or committing to walking 3 days a week. They were simple inspired actions that enabled me to move forward in life.
It is through this consciously focused effort that I was able to make progress, gain clarity, and build momentum. Focusing on myself, determining what I wanted, and taking baby steps forward was the foundation of my personal transformation.
In one of our early sessions, Sally said to me, “You won’t recognize yourself in a year. You will be a different person.”
Changes are possible, and do happen when you put in the work.
Check in next week, to learn how a year of inspired action transformed my life.