Without awareness we cannot change. Being aware is the first step to finding the true you and is essential to your transformation. If you don’t realize what is actually happening in your life, how can you begin to make adjustments or work towards any goals you might have? To help with this, I’ve outlined three steps that have really worked for me to create awareness in my own life, and have helped bring about my transformation. Have a look and see if they might help you as well.
1) Take a step back, open your eyes, and look down on your life. If you remove yourself, what do you see?
Unfortunately, when you are around bad behaviors or situations, or even dealing with something like constantly feeling tired, we start to accept them as normal. We become desensitized to the issue and start to accept it as normal.
Is there something you have been accepting in your life as okay, but deep down you really are NOT okay with it?
For example—My ex worked crazy, crazy hours…going into work at 11am, coming home for dinner at 7pm or sometimes not, then back to work from 10pm until 5am. And repeat.
While these hours were not every single day, they occurred on enough of a regular basis that I rationalized it all and accepted it as normal and ok. It was simply part of life. My inner talk went something like this, “He’s a night owl and likes the quiet office. I guess his job is just so demanding. I chose to stay home with the kids, so what can I say about it, really? He’s a good provider.”
Since we lived the ex-pat life, I knew many families working in the same industry and even in the same profession as my ex. Although I saw our friends working more normal hours, for some reason it never clicked for me while we were in the middle of living it.
I now realize it was his choice. Remember, we always have a choice.
Deep down, I was not ok with this kind of schedule which severely impacted family time, couple time, and ultimately our CONNECTION. I might have said something once or twice, but it was usually in a state of frustration, annoyance, or even sadness, as I was alone quite a bit. This didn’t accomplish anything or get my point of view across to him.
This went on for years. I accepted it even though I was not okay with it, and this created a lot of tension in our lives.
Listen to your complaints and frustrations, and start paying attention to them. What are they telling you? Is it just a bad day or is there something deeper going on?
2) Find time to get quiet each day. Yes, I mean meditate. Tune out the noise.
I admit that I struggle with consistency of daily mediation. However, I know that when I take those few minutes, it makes all the difference. I have more energy. I am more aligned to my purpose. I am more productive. I make decisions with more clarity. I feel inspired.
Meditation does not have to be hard or super spiritual. It’s just about quieting the mind so that you can listen to your soul. Given our distracted society, don’t you think 5 minutes of quiet and peace sounds great?
In fact, one of my favorite times a day is when my kids are asleep at night and it is quiet. That is pure bliss for me. When we tune out the noise of life, we are able to listen to ourselves and gain clarity.
Here are a few simple mediation tips.
- Turn on the bathroom fan or a white noise maker.
- Set a timer on your phone for 5-10 minutes.
- Try an app like Insight Timer – you can listen to guided mediations or use other background sounds, like waves crashing on the shore.
- Find a place that feels peaceful to you.
- Concentrate on your breathing.
- Put your palms over your ears so you really only hear your breaths.
- Set an alarm on your phone for the time you want to do your mediation. Make it a habit.
- Know that there is no right or wrong with meditation!
Learn to take the time for quiet and truly listen to yourself. You have your own wisdom within you.
3) Journal it, and dump it out.
When we are filled up inside with crazy thoughts, anxiety, and just so much muck, there is NO WAY to have any clarity in life at all.
You know those days, where the inner self talk is going a mile a minute and you can’t fall asleep. Lots of stuff in your life might be out of your control and it’s driving you crazy.
First, we need to accept that you can’t control others and their actions. However, you have control of YOUR actions…….and a great tool called the dump journal.
What is a dump journal?
A dump journal is any sort of notebook or blank book that you can find. On its blank pages, you simply dump out your thoughts onto paper. Literally, write whatever you feel or whatever comes into your head.
You just write and write until you can no longer write any more. It’s not going to make sense and it will look crazy. That’s okay—it is supposed to be a stream of consciousness.
Perhaps your thoughts might come out like this….
“I can’t believe it. My mom is driving me insane. This whole situation is mental. I just want curl up in bed. I am so damn tired. Momming is exhausting. They drove me crazy. I screamed my head off. Why? Why? Why? I just want this done. Now. Now. Now. And I am so hungry. I could eat a cheese burger. I deserve better than this nonsense. Seriously, what was he thinking. A massage would be good about now. Oh, I better call Jenna tomorrow. And vacuum. And take a walk. Oh bloody, hell. Are you kidding me….”
Once you are done, take a deep breath and put the pen away. But most importantly, DO NOT READ WHAT YOU WROTE.
The point of the dump journal is to get the muck OUT of you, and to free yourself. It’s not to re-read anything or learn from what was written. As my coach’s coach says, “Would you eat your own vomit?” Of course not. Just get out the garbage so you can be left with a clean mind that allows for clarity.
Keep the dump journal separate from the positive, dreamy, gratitude journal. These are two different tools for two different purposes.
Once you fill up a dump journal, do you know what you can do that feels really good? Burn it. Throw that baby in the fireplace, light it up, and release it. You are free of all those thoughts that held you back—they are no longer inside you.
Hopefully you can find something in these three tips to try for yourself and create greater awareness in your own life.
If you have already tried any of these, how did they work for you? Do you feel clearer inside?
Let me know in the comments below!