You might be wondering about this blog…Just what is her truth? And how did she transform it?
First, let me tell you a little about myself and what I thought was my truth…… and how things have transformed.
Who I was
The truth is that just a short time ago I would have defined myself as a dedicated stay-at-home mom. I would have described myself as overwhelmed, tired, stressed, and simply plugging away. I didn’t really have my own identity. I had lost my sense of self, but I didn’t know it or believe it at the time.
Then two years ago, the hurricane of separation and divorce entered my life. Shocked, scared, and hurt, I had to start navigating something I never imagined for myself. However, if I am honest, I shouldn’t have been so surprised that this was on my path. I was not happy in my marriage and it lacked an emotional connection.
I have always believed in God, and that life is more His plan for us than our own. I’ve always believed the notion that everything happens for a reason, even when we do not understand it.
Yes, at first I was a crying mess, uttering, “Why? Why me? Why is this happening? WTF? You’ve got to be kidding me? No really, I know I am a good person, why is this all happening?” And I could probably have gone on and on, with this kind of talk.
But now I can fully see that I needed some of these life events to WAKE.UP.
Now, I wasn’t walking around asleep. I knew deep down that my marriage wasn’t healthy. However, I rationalized it and I thought I didn’t have a choice in the matter.
I had plenty of nudges along the way, but I didn’t listen to my intuition because I was scared of an unknown future.
I needed to
WAKE UP to the truth.
WAKE UP for myself.
WAKE UP to self love.
WAKE UP for my kids.
WAKE UP to my purpose.
WAKE UP to joy.
WAKE UP to fun.
First this wake up came as a huge smack-in-the-face! The kind you simply can’t ignore. The “oh shit, my life is not what I thought” kind of wake up.
Then as I learned to process the events and my emotions, I began to wake up and gain a sense of clarity on my life. It was like putting on a pair of glasses for the first time and then the image becomes crisp and clear.
My eyes opened to things I didn’t necessarily want to see. However, this new perspective was crucial to truly waking up.
Now, I can say thank you with gratitude for my wake up call. Thank you for all of the crap (because there was a lot of it!) that has brought me to a better, stronger place. I can say this, and actually mean it, because I have learned and grown so much as a person. In the eye of the hurricane, I was able to find myself again.
Who I am now
I am still a full time mama to 2 active little monkeys. In addition to the typical responsibilities, I have also become a de facto nurse to my son who was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes shortly after the hurricane hit.
However, the big difference today is that I am less stressed. That is because I learned to process the trauma and drama with emotional intelligence.
I was able to turn the pain into purpose.
Six months into my separation, I started working with a transformational coach who taught me about emotional intelligence. Rapidly, my life started to change. The pain eased and I began to gain clarity. I started to get in tune with myself.
I learned that the place of feeling stuck, hurt, and in pain didn’t need to last forever and that with the right tools and skill sets it could be processed quickly.
I also noticed that many women stayed in that stuck, hurt, painful place for way too long. Some were even bitter after being remarried and “moving on” with their lives.
This didn’t make sense to me.
In thinking about this, I realized that many of these women clung to their stories like a crutch. Even though they had moved on in some ways, they were holding onto the heaviness, the obstacle, in others.
What was I doing differently? My mindset had shifted from one of obstacle to opportunity. I was rewriting my story with positivity and taking on the leading role. I was using my situation to learn and grow, and ultimately transform my truth.
What is transforming your truth?
The funny thing is, before the hurricane I didn’t think I had a choice in how things were going in my life.
I thought I needed to stick it out and “suck it up, buttercup” because things didn’t look too bad on the outside. But, deep down inside, I knew that things were not right (HELLO Christina! Why were you not listening to yourself???).
I get it. I thought change was not possible for a long, long time.
I’m here to tell you today that it IS possible. There is always a choice, even when we are super scared and have no idea what is next.
There is always a choice.
I was paralyzed and stuck for a long time. Until one day, I was so scared I finally trusted myself to take action. Gradually, I started to take action in my life and used my divorce as a platform for personal growth and change.
I started to listen to myself, and my truth began to transform.
No longer was I stuck in an endless cycle that I couldn’t change.
No longer was I stressed, hassled, and “just getting by”.
No longer was I satisfied with “sucking it up”.
Yes, we have the choice to view life situations as obstacles or opportunities.
Yes, we can turn those lemons into lemonade.
The choice is ours.
It doesn’t happen overnight, but little by little, when we start to trust ourselves and our intuition, we start to rewrite our story.
We can become the author, we can write the script to our story, and we can play the leading role.
We can transform our truth.