On Instagram the other morning, I posted a photo of a wooden home decor piece that said, “Be Fearless.” Little did I know that I would need that exact reminder later that day….
At about 2:30PM, my phone rang and it was my ex. We don’t talk much these days, except when absolutely necessary as things don’t usually end well. I was in the grocery store, so I said I would call back when I was available.
Immediately fear set in…”What could he be calling for?” “What bomb is he going to drop on me now?” Anxiety set in and my stomach was in knots. I was dreading having to call him back.
As you can guess, our relationship is strained and given past encounters the drama usually gets thrown at me with a good dose of the fear factor.
I needed to call back…but I sure didn’t want to. Then I remembered my Insta post from the morning. “Be Fearless”.
I looked it up….and here is what else I wrote….
“Our fears often are not real or even our own. Assess your beliefs, change your mindset, and have faith. Everything is always working out as it should. Be Fearless!”
So what do you think I did? I had a little talk with myself.
What did I believe was going to happen?
I believed that whatever he said would inflict hurt and pain. Have his words hurt me before? Yes, but I also allowed them to hurt before. I know better now.
I also remembered that childhood saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Then I thought some more…have I ever really been hurt? Mean things have been said, but I am still standing and strong.
I also have a strong belief that everything is in God’s plan and is always working out as it should in life. We just sometimes need a bit of faith that everything will be ok.
So, I changed my mindset…and told myself… “No matter what he throws at me, I can handle it. His words are just words. All will be ok. You will learn and grow from this.”
I called back.
The same thing that always happens…childish name calling, accusations, and threats. Pure nonsense. Plus, one small tidbit of actual information.
I am here writing, so I certainly survived!
To me, every situation we are in can provide wisdom.
So what did I learn?
- My decision to divorce is the correct one for me.
- I am strong and can handle what comes into my life.
What can I do differently in the future?
- Set a timer for the conversation. Setting this boundary will help me to not experience the energy drain that usually happens after our encounters.
- Do something to bring my energy back up afterwards. Maybe jumping on the rebounder for 10 minutes.
So you see, my fears were not as bad as I was making it out to be in my head.
And in just a few minutes of assessing my beliefs and changing my mindset I was able to make the phone call in an empowered state, stayed strong, and did not lose my cool.
Take those few minutes and think about your fear. Is it real? Not so bad? Is the fear your own? How can you change your beliefs? What mindset shift can you make?
If I can do it, so can you!
You are strong, confident, and empowered!